Nice Try, Mate: The Hilarious Tale of yet another eBay Buyer Who Tried (and Failed) to Scam Us Over Canker Powder

Running a small pet product business is full of joys: happy dogs, grateful owners, and the satisfaction of helping pets live itch-free, ear mite-free lives. But occasionally, just occasionally, we encounter the kind of buyer that makes us want to pour our own Cosmo Canker Powder into a giant cup of tea and drink it (don’t try this at home our powder is for pets, not for scamming-induced headaches ).

Let us introduce you to one such charming individual. We’ll call them Mr. Nice Try, the star of this comedy sketch involving GPS coordinates, Royal Mail proof, and what we can only assume was a misguided attempt at becoming the next great parcel magician.

The Order: A 20g Packet of Canker Powder Glory

It all started like any other day at Cosmo HQ. Mr. Nice Try placed an order for our legendary Cosmo Canker Powder 20g Grooming Size. You know, the stuff that sends ear mites packing faster than you can say “Thornit alternative” except, of course, our powder is the real deal, packed with antiseptic goodness, a century of vet-approved history and application brush.

We packaged it with love, sprinkled with the fairy dust of small business care, and dispatched it via Royal Mail. Tracked. Signed. GPS-logged. Basically, we sent it with more security measures than a bank transfer.

The Drama Unfolds: “I Haven’t Received Anything Yet”

Proof of delivery chat: our canker powder was scanned at buyer’s address.

Fast forward to the delivery date. Our tracking system proudly announced, “Delivered 19/06. Scanned at property. GPS coordinates logged.”

Job done. Right? Wrong.

Enter Mr. Nice Try:

“I have not received anything yet, but hopefully it’s just late in post.”

Ah, yes. Because in the magical world of parcels, they sometimes wander off on adventures even after being scanned at your door. Maybe our Canker Powder decided to go on holiday. Maybe it eloped with a bag of Dreamies. Or maybe, just maybe, it was delivered exactly as Royal Mail confirmed.

The Evidence: GPS Doesn’t Lie

We provided Mr. Nice Try with everything:

✅ The tracking number

✅ The Royal Mail confirmation of delivery

✅ The GPS coordinates proving it arrived at their property

✅ A polite (too polite, in hindsight) message asking them to check with neighbours, safe places, garden gnomes, or friendly squirrels who may have intercepted the parcel.

Mr. Nice Try’s response? A charming mix of silence, followed by….

“SILENCE”

Late? Late?! It’s marked as delivered! We don’t know about you, but we’ve never seen a Royal Mail worker teleport to someone’s house, scan a parcel at their front door, then sprint off with it still in hand just for fun.

Proof of delivery shared,buyer asked to check for canker powder package.

Our Response: Nice Try, But No Cigar

Now, as small business owners, we’ve seen this play before. The “item not received” claim where the buyer crosses their fingers and hopes the seller just refunds them to avoid hassle. But here’s the plot twist: we love a bit of hassle when it means defending our business and calling out nonsense.

Our reply (summarised for your amusement):

Hi. Nope. Proof of delivery is rock solid. GPS shows it at your property. Please check with neighbours, garden, bins, doghouse, imaginary friends. If you truly can’t find it, we’ll file a theft claim with Royal Mail. Cheers!

The Art of the Scam: How Not to Do It

To anyone out there considering pulling a Mr. Nice Try, here’s a guide of what not to do if you want to scam a canker powder seller:

1. Don’t ignore GPS evidence. When the proof is staring you in the face, playing dumb just makes it funnier for us.

2. Don’t assume we’ll cave. We’re a small business, not Amazon. Every order matters. Every scam attempt gets a spotlight in our “Hall of Shame” blog.

3. Don’t underestimate our paperwork game. We’ve got tracking numbers, GPS, photos, carrier confirmation, and enough documentation to choke a printer.

4. Don’t think we won’t escalate. Royal Mail theft claim? Filed. eBay case? Opened. Name engraved in our list of “buyers to block forever”? Done.

Why We Fight Back

Because it’s not just about one packet of canker powder. It’s about principle. We pack every order by hand, post it ourselves, and keep our prices fair (even with the rising costs of postage and packaging). When someone tries to game the system, they’re not just stealing from us, they’re trying to take advantage of all our genuine customers who play fair.

Besides, our Cosmo Canker Powder is too precious to waste on scammers. It belongs in the ears of itchy dogs, not in imaginary missing parcels.

The Outcome: No Refund, No Replacement, No Luck

We gave Mr. Nice Try every opportunity to be honest. We were polite. We were professional. We provided evidence. We even offered to help file a theft claim if needed.

And when all was said and done? Silence. No magical reappearance of the missing powder. No admission. Just… nothing.

Nice try, mate. But no.

Final Thoughts: Celebrate the Honest Customers

To our 99.9% of wonderful customers: thank you. Thank you for checking behind the plant pot before panicking. Thank you for being patient when Royal Mail takes an extra day. Thank you for supporting small business with honesty and kindness.

And to Mr. Nice Try: we hope your conscience itches as much as a dog’s ear mite infestation. But don’t worry, we sell something for that. You’ll just have to pay for it next time.

Callout Box:

💥 Got an itchy pup? Don’t risk cheap knock-offs or mystery powders. Shop direct at www.canker.co.uk and support a small business that actually cares!

Comic: buyer fails to scam, proof shown, ends with “NO REFUND!”

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SEO Sprinkle (for Google, not scammers):

Looking for Cosmo Canker Powder for dogs, Canker powder ear mite treatment, or genuine Thornit alternative that works? We’ve got you covered. Our Cosmo Canker Powder is trusted by pet owners who care. Don’t fall for scams, cheap copies, or dodgy sellers on eBay, get your pet’s ears sorted with the real deal from a small UK business.

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