Why We’re Not Selling on Amazon (And Why We’d Rather Wrestle a Rabid Ferret Than Become an Amazon Brand)

Let’s get one thing out of the way:

No, we’re not on Amazon.

No, we’re not planning to be.

And no, it’s not because we’re “behind the times” or “missing out on millions.”

It’s because we actually enjoy running a business and not getting financially eviscerated by a trillion-dollar vampire squid that feeds off small sellers until they’re bankrupt, bald, and begging for mercy.

Welcome to our TED Talk:

“Why we’re not selling on Amazon and never, ever will.”

The Dream vs. The Reality

Amazon sells you the dream:

“Open your shop. Reach millions. Prime customers. Make sales in your sleep!”

Sounds cute. Here’s what actually happens:

• You list your product (say, our Canker Powder).

• Amazon takes 15–45% of every sale in fees.

• They pressure you into lowering your price to beat competitors.

• Someone copies your listing, undercuts you by £1, and you start a price war to the death.

• You’re not allowed to speak to your customer. Amazon owns them.

• And then, one day, they shut your listing down for “safety review” with zero explanation.

Boom. Gone.

You built their brand, not yours.

Amazon: The Pyramid Scheme in a Hoodie

Let’s break it down:

• They charge listing fees

• They take referral fees

• They charge FBA fees (Fulfilment by Amazon = send your soul in a box)

• They charge storage fees

• They charge refund fees

• They charge to advertise on the platform

• They charge to show your product ABOVE someone who sells the same thing for 12p less

Oh—and when your customer wants to return an item they used?

You pay the return fee and they get a full refund and keep the product.

Sounds familiar? That’s worse than TikTok and eBay fraud culture.

We’re Not Here to Compete in the Race to the Bottom

On Amazon, it’s not about quality.

It’s not about ingredients.

It’s about who can sell the cheapest, fastest, and most disposable version of your product.

You know what that does?

It kills innovation.

It kills quality.

And it kills brands like ours—that actually care what goes into your dog’s ears.

Imagine trying to sell a genuine, 100-year-old formula canker powder while someone next to you lists a talc-filled, sticker-on-bottle knockoff with “ear mite miracle” written in Comic Sans for half the price.

No thanks.

Amazon Doesn’t Reward Originality — It Punishes It

You think Amazon loves small brands?

Wrong.

You build a bestseller.

You get five stars.

You think, “Wow, I made it!”

Then someone reports your listing, copies your formula, undercuts you, and Amazon says,

“We’ve removed your listing due to policy violation.”

Policy = “You were doing too well, and our algorithm favors cheaper garbage.”

And let’s be honest:

Our Canker Blaster Drops are not mass-produced in a factory that also makes motor oil.

We handcraft our formulas with vet-trusted ingredients, tested over generations. You think Amazon rewards that?

No. Amazon rewards:

• High volume

• Low quality

• Generic brands in plastic tubs

• Factories that pump out 10,000 units a week

We’d rather wrestle a raccoon with a yeast infection than join that race.

We Like Our Customers. Amazon Doesn’t Let Us Talk to Them

You know what happens when you sell on Amazon?

You don’t have customers. Amazon does.

You can’t:

• Thank them

• Offer them advice

• Suggest how to use Canker Powder and Canker Blaster Drops

• Send them follow-ups

• Ask for feedback

• Warn them not to use it on their own ear (yes, someone tried)

You’re just a faceless seller behind a Buy Now button.

And if something goes wrong?

Amazon says: “Sorry, not our problem.”

Meanwhile, we like to know your dog’s name.

We like hearing that Cosmo Canker Powder helped stop the itch in 3 days.

We like sending extras and notes and saying, “Give your pup a cuddle from us.”

On Amazon, that kind of love is called “unauthorized contact.”

No, Jeff Bezos Won’t Cry If You Quit

Here’s the thing:

Jeff Bezos won’t care if our small business disappears.

Amazon’s CEO isn’t lying awake at night wondering why your dog’s ears are bleeding again.

But we do.

We care because we’re not a warehouse.

We’re not a generic label.

We’re not a white-label reseller with 10,000 listings from China.

We’re dog people.

We make real products.

With real ingredients.

For real conditions.

With real passion behind every gram of powder and every drop of Canker Blaster.

We’d Rather Grow Slow Than Die Fast

Growth is sexy.

Everyone wants to “scale.”

But what’s the point of growth if it kills your values?

On Amazon, your margins shrink. Your costs rise. Your control vanishes.

Eventually, you either go broke or sell out—and become the very thing you hated.

We don’t want to become a soulless “Amazon brand.”

We want to stay:

• Weird

• Honest

• Obsessed with dogs

• Proud of what we make

• Direct with our community

Some Say We’re Missing Out. We Say We’re Missing the Trap.

Sure, we could list on Amazon and maybe make more money fast.

But it’s like being invited to a buffet where you can only eat if you also agree to be eaten.

No thanks.

We’ll take slower growth, higher quality, and loyal customers who actually care about what goes in their dog’s ears.

What You Can Do Instead

Love us? Love small businesses?

Here’s how you can help:

1. Buy direct from our website. Not only do we keep more of your money, but we can pack your order with a personal note and maybe a surprise.

2. Tell your friends. Word of mouth > Amazon algorithm.

3. Write a review on Truspilot. It means more to us than 10 Amazon stars.

4. Share your story on Instagram. Post a pic. Tag us. Let people know what real canker powder looks like.

Final Word: We’re Not Anti-Amazon — We’re Pro-Sanity

Listen, we get it. You use Amazon. We do too—for batteries and bins and maybe a silicone ice cube tray.

But when it comes to specialty products, handcrafted remedies, and businesses built on passion not plastic—Amazon just isn’t it.

We’re not willing to throw ourselves into a gladiator arena of knockoff brands and cutthroat price wars just to get a “Buy Now” badge.

We’d rather serve fewer people with 100% heart, than serve 1,000 strangers through a robot interface that takes our soul and 35% of the sale.

So no, we’re not on Amazon.

We’re right here.

Real people. Real product. Real passion.

And if that ever changes?

Please check on us—we’ve been kidnapped and replaced.